His gentle words softened her heart like aloe lotion softens the skin. Her soft touch melted away his icy expression like standing near a warm fire melts away a chill in the bones. This article looks at the softer side of friendship by discussing the role and nature of tenderness in love relationships and friendship.
Tenderness is a major ingredient to a warm and loving friendship. In the context of love, tenderness is the defined as: ?considerate and protective; characterized by expressing gentle emotions? (Free Dictionary). As tenderness is characterized by consideration shown in a gentle manner, we can see that an intimate and close relationship is formed through warm and caring actions. How is tenderness expressed in a relationship?
Now I ask you, does this sound like a loving thing to ask of another human being, to ask them to assume some of your pain? Well some might think and do so on a regular basis.
Or does it feel manipulative and exploitative? Many such ?friends? do in fact feel exploited. How do I know this? Well you hear it all around you.
Deep Interest in the Other Person
Second, to show consideration means being deeply interested in the other person. You ask sincere questions and then shut up to intently listen to their answers in order to know them intimately.
Only other victims would ever engage in such a co-dependent relationship with someone like this. That is because only a victim would allow themselves to be victimized regularly by someone else?s chaotic life.
Many who have adopted the victim role often appear to know no other way to be. They usually carry trauma that goes way back into their childhood. They identify themselves with the trauma and this limits their ability to achieve a more empowered life and healthier relationships.
Not surprisingly such victim-based friendships rarely last. This only re-traumatizes and allows the respective parties to use their new found victim hood to entice their next victim into a new ?friendship.?
It is now possible to effectively and permanently release such trauma thereby giving one the opportunity for a real relationship. One that is based on love, mutual respect, personal self esteem, personal responsibility, integrity, and an enjoyment of each other.
To learn more about how to free yourself and create a life full of true friendships kindly visit the web link below where you can also request a free 1 hour introductory telephone consultation
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Source: http://onlinecommunitydiscussion.info/the-softer-side-of-friendship-cultivate-loving-relationships
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